BOWIE

For my paper this semester, I took a closer look at David Bowie's creative process, and through my research, I found out I knew very little about one of my most significant influences. I didn't realize that he faced immense pushback when starting out or that he had started a side project at the height of his commercial success as a creative outlet. Bowie's approach to creativity went through numerous changes, just like his ever-changing personas, and I think that knowing more about him brings him to a level of fellow creative than propped up higher as a level of creativity no one could dare to reach.

BERLIN

The first time I explored Europe, it was for three weeks with my dad's family. The whole trip was amazing but aside from going to Amsterdam, London, and Barcelona, the one place that stuck with me was Berlin. I think what set it apart from the rest of the trip was its myriad of cultural experiences to offer; Berlin has long been an intersection of ideas and traditions and it certainly didn't disappoint. You never got the same food twice, and if you did, it tasted just as great when you first tried it. Graffiti was around every corner you took, and immediately made you question how wonderful the space would look if it wasn't there. I think if I were to go back, I'd go by myself and get completely lost without having to be on a leash. I think it would inspire me to write a blog or add to my inspirations for graphic design. 

CALM

I think that this time around, going to college has taught me how to manage my work, but also how to manage my stress better. Going to therapy provided by CU has been honestly my saving grace, and I know that this attempt at getting help is going to be the most lasting experience. Knowing how to communicate my priorities to others feels so much easier, and communicating to myself that I'm stressed and knowing that it'll pass has been such a relief. Asking for help for anything major has always been a struggle for me, but knowing that it's normal and okay to ask for help almost feels like a superpower I just found out that I have. 

DOUBT

Over the course of the semester, I've learned that my creativity was with me all along, but was kept almost as a prisoner by my own mindset. It's been a long time since I've felt comfortable sharing anything that I've made, whether its music or with graphic design. I think a lot of it has to do with past experiences since going to college the first time.

My first attempt at college was a rough one, to say the least. By the end, I basically threw in the towel when it came to performing music, and my personal life took a toll to where I felt like I couldn't write my ideas down anymore. I felt like I had lost a lot of myself since then, and it's been a long journey to find all the pieces that I thought were gone. 

Talking through my experiences was one thing I knew I needed to do in order to move forward, especially going back to school. I'm about half way through a counseling program here at CU, and I honestly think that it was the key to getting back to who I know I am. Since I've started taking classes, I've felt my creativity blast off with everything that I'm involved in, and being in a more welcome environment both at school and at home has made that possible.

MIRROR

Sitting on the couch in my new home, I notice a mirror my girlfriend put up not long after we moved in over our fireplace in our living room. It's about two feet in diameter, perfectly round in shape with a silver trim about three quarters of an inch thick. It's slightly off center from the middle of the mantle, and looking back and forth from the mirror to the red brick and gold accents of the fireplace, it clashes pretty hard. Like a 'we need to relocate this now' kind of hard. 

In the mirror I see our light stained wooden railing (which is going in a few weeks) and the dividing wall in the loft at the top of the stairs. This house was built around having as much natural light as possible, and there's not a whole lot of lighting upstairs because of it. It almost looks like its a hole above the fireplace, or like I'm peering into someone else's house through a portal as I'm writing this at 11:30 at night.

The mirror has a subtle, almost eerie elegance to it, and if we do move it, I'm curious to see if it'll have the same effect somewhere else, or perhaps a stronger one.